Let Me Explain Something To You

Tennis Etiquette. The Boy and I enrolled in beginners tennis lessons this term to brush up on our skills (as we lost it all over winter), before we commit to private lessons next year. It has been going well, until this week, (being week 4 of an 8 week program) some guy turns up to participate. Some guy who claims he has never played before. Let's call him Mr A (as in something-hole).

Etiquette #1 - if you have clearly played tennis before for many many years at a comp level and know exactly what you are doing don't join a beginners group!! Don't come along and "be the man" and show off your skills and try and knock the coach to the ground with your apparent power. Guess What! No one cares! You just look like some idiot showing off who clearly has some deep issues that are unresolved because you feel the need to look like you are the best.

Then towards the end The Coach decides that Mr A and I play a singles match. The Coach instructs me that Mr A has never played before and doesn't know how to score and could I please teach him. Etiquette #2 - you ask the woman which end she would like, you do not say "I am taking this end so the sun doesn't get into my eyes" and then refuse to swap.

The coach watches the first two points and leaves. Then Mr A decides to morph into his true self. Etiquette #3 - when you are playing against a woman in tennis and you are a man, you do not smack the ball with the power of a professional that could break the woman's body in two. You say to yourself, this is a woman, I need to ease off the power and save that for the men. But no, Mr A decides to belt the crap out of the balls to ensure he is winning every single point. Of course this doesn't always work so he decides to play a little soft and smart.

Etiquette #4 - SOCIAL Tennis requires you to encourage rallies, this is not comp, you want to hit to the player so you both get to play and have fun which is why it is SOCIAL. Mr A hits just over the net while I sit on the baseline and cannot make the shot, or he angles it so I run for it and nearly run into the fence. Excuse me Mr A, this is not the bloody Australian Open!

Someone has clearly not explained the rules and etiquette of non comp tennis to him. I left feeling upset and violated. If it was a woman it would have been a different story, and I would have played differently, but it was a sorry excuse for a man who apparently had never played before and therefore I did the right thing and hit the balls to him.

I will turn up next week as much as I don't want to, because I am not going to let him win. Only 4 more weeks and I won't have to deal with trash like him ever again. You sir, are not a gentleman, but a rude, arrogant wanker who needs to be taught some manners, not only on the tennis court but off them as well, and until you do, I just pity you, because if you continue to treat people that way you will never get ahead, and that is your loss. Game Set Match Elissa.

Tennis Superstars

For the last 8 weeks, on a Friday night, The Boy and I have been doing group tennis lessons. I played tennis and had lessons for about ten years when I was a kid. Mum has played every Friday morning with the same group of girls for almost 30 years and, naturally, she had me starting early, with lessons when I was about 7. I loved it. However, towards the end of school it was all about the study (well it was for me anyway being a total nerd and all) and slowly everything started to drop, the tennis, the basketball, the netball...... I just never came back to it.

At the beginning of the year, I spoke with The Boy about doing something this year. No more talking about going dancing, and learning new skills, but actually doing them. I printed off the local community college course guide and at the back were tennis lessons. It got me thinking. I mentioned it to The Boy, he had never played tennis before, he told me that he had always wanted to, and tried to at school but for whatever reason it never happened. So now was our chance. I called up and the only night left was Friday. The Boy was hesitant, but I pointed out to him that both of us have agreed our partying days are over and all we do now on Friday night is rent DVD's and order pizza. This would be a much better way to spend a Friday night.

Turns out it is like riding a bike, once I got into it, I remembered everything I had been taught in the past and as a result was singled out as the best player in the group. The Boy is a natural, the coach always has positive feedback for him. I love watching him, it is very sexy seeing your man all sweaty and belting a tennis ball. However, the best thing of all is that I have re-discovered my passion for tennis, I really forgot just how much I loved it, and I am in love with it again, and even better, The Boy loves it too!

It is so wonderful to be with someone that you love more than anything else, and that together you find something you both really enjoying doing. I think that is why tennis is so much more fun now. I have someone to do it with that loves it just as much as I do, and spending the time playing tennis with The Boy has definitely made us stronger and brought us closer together. The plan now is to have private coaching once a fortnight (together) and join the social tennis group in the next few weeks where we can met other tennis lovers and new friendships can be formed. I also think it is time I began investigating other passions of mine from when I was a kid, I might just re-discover some old loves.

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