What Today Was Supposed To Be

When I handed in my resignation letter, today was supposed to be my last day. I was supposed to be here kicking back and cleaning out my work email ready to celebrate all weekend long. That won't be happening because it isn't my last day. When I gave notice, my resignation was "up for discussion". This was news to me. In every other job I have had, when I have given notice, the response has always been "all the best for the future". I guess with all my previous jobs there was a use by date so by the time I quit, everyone was expecting it.

Not this time however, my resignation was not accepted until a few meeting/"chats" where to be had. Apparently everything really is negotiable. They didn't want me to leave and actually told me how valuable I was and how much they rely on me. This information could have been helpful before I decided to quit. So there were chats, and promises about change. To be honest I was doubtful, I thought things might change, but give it a week and it will all go back to normal.

So I continued attending interviews. Yes there are lots of jobs out there, but they are all the same, and these interviews are all the same, and the problem was, all the jobs were doing the same thing, but travelling further and in most cases for slightly less money. I began to wonder if it was worth it.

Fast forward 4 weeks and to my complete surprise, the changes of being nice and friendly, being respectful and actually treating me the way I should be treated have been MAINTAINED! But not just to me, to everyone, everyone is talking about the changes that have occurred. So at this stage I am staying. I am not thrilled about it, but then I am not thrilled about what other jobs are out there.

That is not to say the job hunting is over. But it is over for Sydney. The Boy and I have done a lot of research in the last fortnight, had a lot of conversations with ourselves and family and we can definitely move to the Central Coast in the next 6 - 18 months. So the job hunting has changed to the Central Coast. They have about 10-20 new jobs every day. Sydney - North has around 200. So I suspect it is going to take a long time to actually find a job that I want up there, but each week I will keep checking and I am sure eventually something will pop up. The Boy works up there so transport will not be an issue, and before we know it we'll be living up there anyway. Besides, I still have a uni application waiting, and that could change a lot of things, so I think everything has worked out for the best, for now anyway.

So alas, no big celebration this weekend, instead the (future) in-laws are arriving Sat night, which means a lot of cleaning and a lot of baking. Before all that however, hopefully the bed will arrive, but that is The Boy's problem. I am spending the morning getting my hair done and then a deluxe pedicure. Simply to celebrate the fact that I am getting out of the rut and am slowly, but consistently, making some positive changes to my life.

Image: Flickr

Frustrating

Trying to make some changes to my blog, been wanting to do the 3 column thing for ages now (because I don't like all the blank space on the left) , and I am just struggling to get it working the way I would like, so please bear with me. I really should not have bothered to attempt this at work because it is taking a lot longer than I would like but if I can't get it right by the weekend then back to the old template. If anyone knows anything about how I can change the margins so the 3 columns have a little space between them that would be great, otherwise I will continue to bang my head against the keyboard ;)

I Love Surprises!

When The Boy and I first moved in together, all of our money went to the first rent and the bond. We had a lot of stuff to fill a place because I had moved out so many times before (but always managed to find my way back to mum's again). One thing we needed was a mattress (neither of us wanted to use what we already had). His parents just bought a new one and offered us their old one which we accepted. It was only for a short period of time until we got around to buying a new one.

That short period of time turned into 1 whole year! (Oops!). I don't know why we didn't get around to it sooner, I suppose it was probably because of the cost. But for the past year we have been sleeping on a very bad mattress that wrecks our backs because it has no support and hence we really don't sleep that well. I am sure when they bought the mattress 10 years ago it had a lovely comfort top, but now it has disappeared and halfway through the night you can start to feel deep down to the springs!

I am a big "natural" person, don't like the artificial stuff, so naturally I wanted a latex bed, and not just a bed with a latex top, it had to be 100% latex, no wire and no foam. Of course natural doesn't come cheap, and as we started bed shopping 6 months ago, the full price for a bed that met those requirements was a lot more than we wanted to pay. The Boy spent many hours trying to convince me that we didn't need latex. I spend twice as much time telling him why we did. They last 20 years, they are natural, better for my asthma, they provide better support, they repel dust mites etc. I am pleased to say I won, I mean, convinced him. So we waited and waited and waited and eventually good old David Jones decided to have 40% off a select range of beds.

We tried a few, and finally narrowed it down. The store we bought it from had a very good (and smart) sales lady. We lay on the bed and she came over, we both sat up but she insisted we lie down as she would just talk us through the "features and benefits". The Boy actually started to doze off! I had to gently tap him awake again, that was all he needed to seal the deal. As we lay there, The Boy jokingly asked if she could throw some pillows in to.

"Sure, that shouldn't be a problem."

We were both shocked, we didn't expect this, it was David Jones for crying out loud not Bing Lee where "everything is negotiable."

We ordered the bed, and it should be arriving on Saturday (and if it doesn't there will be some phone calls). We had both forgot about the pillows. We just wanted the bed. Yesterday The Boy arrived home before I did and walked through the foyer twice. He didn't notice anything. I came home and noticed a bag sitting on the table in the foyer. Something inside me told me to walk over, and sure enough it was a package for us. I ran upstairs, threw my bags down on the floor and ripped it open wondering what on earth it was. Sure enough, inside were two, 100% latex pillows, the very same ones that I was planning on buying on Saturday once we had the new bed. The very same pillows that cost just under $100 each! I've never been so happy to receive mail before.

Of course we cannot use them yet. The Boy is very upset about this, but when you get pillows like this for nothing you have to protect them, so tomorrow night it is back to the shops to get some pillow protectors (which we don't already have because our current pillows are pretty terrible as well). I love surprises!

Elissa Is Not Always Right

Sometimes I think life is easier when you are single. It is your way or your way. You only have to think of yourself and no one else, you do what you want to do. Then you meet the man of your dreams and suddenly you have someone else to consider. At first it is exciting because you want the same things in life and share the same vision, and you talk about the amazing life you will have together and your heart is full of joy, knowing you finally found someone to share this amazing journey with you.

Then it eventually comes to "crunch time", when you need to stop talking about it and start doing. It is then that you realise that you are still two different people, and that although you still want the same things and still both want to reach that "shared vision", you both have very different ideas on how to actually go about making that vision reality.

That is the position I found myself in this morning as I was talking with The Boy. We talk every morning as it takes him an hour to get to work, he drives (has to) and we talk on the phone as I sit on the couch eating breakfast and putting on my make up. I thought we were talking today, but apparently we were arguing. I was expressing what I thought was the best way to move forward and how to manage a few areas of our shared life together, how to do it my way. He (naturally) felt I was getting stuck into him and telling him what to do. Ok, so maybe I was, but isn't that part of the (future) wife job? I wasn't really telling him what to do, I was just informing him what I thought was best. So of course we had a nice discussion/argument that ended with an agreement to not talk until at least a few hours had passed.

Many hours have passed, we have both apologised and have decided to talk tonight, work out the best plan (which I am sure will be a combination of my way and his) and take it from there. Just when I thought I had the whole relationship thing worked out, this happens. Yes I can be very stubborn, but I am learning, I am slowly letting go of my inner control freak and yes, for the first time in my entire life I am actually saying that perhaps I was wr...., not right, perhaps I was not right. Note to self: my way may not always be the best way.

My Inner Country Girl - The Conclusion

From about Yr 10 onwards I just assumed I would be doing Agriculture at uni. I was selected to attend an ag camp in Yr 10 and Yr 11 (only 2 or 3 students from each school goes to one of the uni's for a weekend to do lots of prac and "Ag stuff"). And with the addition of 3Unit in Yr 12, it was obvious. It was my favourite subject, it was my passion, I just loved it.

My next best subject was Biology. I was clearly a "sci-ency girl". I am a very analytical thinker and loved all that science teaches you. As it came time to make my initial list of preferences, Agriculture was #1. However, as it came time to lock in my selection I started to doubt it. I asked everyone what they thought I should do (in the days before I had the guts to actually think for myself). The school counsellor suggested Bio, as did my Bio teacher. Friends suggested bio, family suggested Bio, everyone suggested Bio, except Mrs Allen my Ag teacher who told me to do Ag. I felt I was more of a plant person so she suggested Horticulture. But, everyone told me "Do Science, specialise in Bio then you can do Ag later if you want."

In Yr 12 we (the Ag class) went to an excursion to the Ag farms at Sydney Uni. A lecturer gave a talk about wheat. About how one of his colleagues discovered the gene to ensure the wheat crop would always produce a tall crop and not a short crop and how this discovery had enabled millions of farmers in third world countries to provide food and an income. I was burning. This was what I wanted to do. Get into crops, make a discovery, help people. Mrs Allen asked me what I thought at the end and I told her with 100% certainly, I want this, I want to study Horticulture and make a difference. I was on fire.

But passion is quickly subdued when everyone tries to cover it with a fire blanket (and you let them), which in my case was sweet talking me to do Bio. I don't know what they thought was wrong with Ag. Maybe it was because it was "farming" in their eyes, and I was to "smart" for that. Or perhaps because my UAI could be "spent" better. At the time Ag only required a UAI of 60-70, but I could get into some science degrees that required a higher UAI than that and therefore I could "spend" it better. This was what people told me, that I was too good and should do better.

I should have listened to my gut and my heart, but I didn't. I was scared, I was confused, and I just wanted what was best for me. I didn't trust myself, I had low self esteem so surely everyone else's opinion was better than mine, right? So I choose Bio. And off I went to study Bio. Sure it was kinda fun. I enjoyed learning what I did, and all the problem solving and discovering just how amazing and wonderful life is, but none of it set my heart on fire. I discovered that Bio was something I loved to learn, but not loved to spend my life on. I didn't want it. So hence I never entered the world of Biology. It ended when I finished my degree.

I forgot about Ag. I had my Bio but I wasn't using it, therefore I would just live a life doing jobs I really didn't want. And that is what happened. I worked to have fun and to earn money, but I never took any of it seriously. This year, however, I decided it was time to change all that. I went back to my passions, and Ag was the one of only a few things that I was really, truly, passionate about.

Yes I am 27, but it is never too late. For the last several months I have researched, extensively, about how I can study Agriculture. I thought I would have to be an undergrad again, but as I persevered I discovered there was a post grad option. Post grad coursework that could lead to a Masters in Ag in coursework (same as a degree) and then I could do the Dip Ed and teach Agriculture!! (A dream). So, the other day, I went online to UAC and applied. Fingers crossed I hear good news soon. It is time to live again and be true to who I am; a passionate country girl.

Image: Flickr

Part One, Part Two

My Inner Country Girl - Part Two

Every year at presentation night I would sit at the announcement assembly secretly hoping that my name would be called out for one of the prizes. I wasn't sporty, arty or musical, and while I was good academically, there were girls who were ahead of me, so I had no reason to get an award, but I still hoped. In Year 12 it was my last chance. In our first assembly the principal gave the speech she gives every year for the first assembly and that was to set some goals, write them down, work hard etc. I never listened, but this time I did, and that afternoon when I came home I wrote down what I wanted to achieve that year and on that list included "To receive an award at Presentation Night."

In Year 12 they give all the generic awards, but also give awards to each person who comes first in each subject. I knew my best shot at getting an award was to come first in Agriculture. I was very confident in my ability to do this, I loved it and had no issues working hard at it. I was doing both the 2Unit and the 3Unit as well. For our first assessment I got 15/15, however, so did another girl, and it was suddenly apparent that she wanted that prize too. Clearly I had some competition. The next assessment was 14/15, she scored the same, this was not going to be easy.

I did have one advantage over her though, I was doing 3Unit and she wasn't. All 3Unit involved was the exam (50%) and a research project (50%). This was essentially a 6-9 month experiment. Mine was titled "The Nitrogen Levels in the Reproductive and Vegetative Stage of a Forage Wheat, Using An Artificial Fertiliser and An Organic Fertiliser". Basically I grew wheat in plastic containers in the backyard for 18weeks using two different fertilisers and then had the various components tested at the end. My parents loved that, having a massive patch in the backyard of dead grass from where all the pots were.

My competitor and I continued to battle it out, staying even the whole way through, even our trials didn't put one over the other. I could only hope that my 3Unit advantage would secure me the prize.

For the HSC itself, 3Unit Agriculture was my last exam. There was only about 7 of us doing the course and as we waited for the clock to hit 2:00pm, one of the supervisors smiled and asked if this was anybodies last exam. A few of us said yes. I was one of them. She smiled and said "Just think, after this exam, you will have finished school". Not the wisest thing to say to a bunch of girls just before an exam is to commence. I hadn't thought about that, I was about to finish school. I kept thinking about it, and thinking about it. It was 2pm, reading time, and thinking about it. 2:05pm commence writing, and freakin thinking about it. Can't breathe, about to finish school, freakin out, need to do exam, clock ticking, HELP!

I was sitting in my chair making nosies she looked at me and whispered;

"Are you Ok?"

"I can't breathe."

"Let's take you outside"

She walked over and escorted me outside. It was my first ever panic attack.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm about to finish school, but I have to do this exam, I worked so hard for this, I have to do it."

"Just take some deep breathes, just calm down, take your time."

"No, I cannot I have to do this exam."

I looked at her, took one breath and walked in, I was suddenly on auto pilot, I sat in my chair and just started writing, pushing all other thoughts out of my head. I had wasted at least 10 minutes, and these exams left no room for error. My saving grace was the fact that throughout the year I did every single past exam paper for 3Unit and my teacher marked every single one and gave me very thorough feedback. Because of that I was able to answer the questions, because I already had answered them. As she called "Pens down" I had just finished all the questions. But I had not put my student number on any of the pages. She very graciously let me do that then and there without saying a word, (probably because she knew if she kept her mouth shut I wouldn't have been in that situation). It was over, I had finished school. I should have been jumping for joy, but instead, I was devastated. Mum was picking me up from school to celebrate and I got in the car and burst into tears telling her what happened and I had no idea what I wrote and it was all a big mess and I was going to screw up the HSC and not get the UAI I wanted and my life was over.

A few weeks later we all gathered a few days before presentation night to find out who was getting an award. I sat with my friends, hoping.

"Agriculture, Elissa"

I did it.

When the HSC results came out I was trembling, so afraid of what my UAI would be and how my poor effort in 3Unit would have effected it. Turns out it was my best subject, 47/50. Couldn't ask for anything better.

Now all I had to do was finalise my uni preferences....

Conclusion to come.

Look At What We Did

The Boy and I had no fun on the weekend. Well, maybe only 10%, we did go out to breakfast on Sunday (bacon, eggs, hash brown, toast with butter....oh yeah) and we did veg on the couch on Saturday night with a few DVD's, pizza and chocolate. But otherwise we were very very busy. We finally finished all the spring cleaning. All of it, we cleaned out cupboards and finally moved a lot of stuff to the storeroom, some stuff that had not moved since we moved in, all went downstairs. We also threw out a lot of crap, lots of boxes and rubbish and stuff we didn't need. We filled up three massive bags of clothes to give away, and we filled up all the recycling bins downstairs and one of the rubbish ones too.

So it is all done now. The house is clean, the two spare rooms that were just being used to store things are now clear and can finally be used. I even cleaned out my desk. My tray was overflowing and my desk was full of various paperwork and meaningless clutter that I could no longer see my desk, and now there is nothing. Which means I have no excuse for not doing my writing in a few weeks time.

And we now have a home gym. Moving that gear up 4 flights of stairs was quite a work out, but at least we'll never have to do it again. The Boy was very happy with this arrangement and already we have used the equipment which is great.

I am feeling a lot better this week, after such a productive weekend we are finally moving forward again. We have completely changed our eating patterns around and also what we eat. Three days in and we have been sticking to the plan perfectly. We have both cut out a lot of sugar (we were having way to much anyway) so feeling a little crabby about that, but by the end of the week I am sure I will feel much better for it. Have been doing a lot of positive reading lately as well, so more changes to come, but all in good time. I am really hoping I will hear some good news soon, I have done all I can and the rest is out of my hands, but hopefully it will all work in my favour. If not, then I will just have to find another way to reach that dream.

People always say "Today is a new day" and I just rolled my eyes, thinking "obviously". But in the last week I have thought a lot about that, and it really is. I am not focusing on anything long term at the moment. I know what I want long term, but sitting around waiting for the 5 years to pass is not going to achieve anything, all I can do is what I have to do each day to make that happen. Everytime I have attempted to change my body, I always thought about how long it was going to take and how I had to suffer week after week. This time however, I just focus on today. What I am going to do about it today and if I can eat well and exercise today then I am one step closer, and then when I wake up I just repeat that and it doesn't seem so difficult anymore. It's not just with the health side of things either, it is everything. There has definitely been an attitude shift with The Boy and I and I'm looking forward to seeing what that produces.

It's Been Confirmed

I went to see the Dr on Tuesday night for my monthly check up (I see her monthly due to the anxiety) and as soon as I walked in she asked me what was wrong. I told her nothing, I was just tired. We started talking about how things were going blah blah blah and then I told her I thought my life was in a rut. She agreed and confirmed that yes, my life is currently in a rut. All the signs were there, dirty dishes piling up in the sink, the fact that the spring cleaning still remains only half done, and of course because I am now watching freakin Neighbours, which I haven't watched in 10 years because there is nothing else on TV! How did this happen? I used to watch TV about 3 hours a week, and now it is more like 3 hours a day!

I know how it happened. I got off the medication. As soon as that happened everything changed. I "took it easy" so I didn't create any situations that may make me anxious, I had to learn to cope on my own. The amazing thing is I have coped brilliantly, since I got off the (alleged) anti-anxiety medication I have been less anxious. In fact I would say that I am anxious about 5% of the time now. That is nothing, at it's worst it was about 90%. So what am I doing? I used the "I just came off my meds and therefore need to take it easy" excuse for everything! Nothing has been done, no writing, no exercise, no spring cleaning, no sorting out all the boxes at mum's house, nothing!

Well it has been nearly three months now and I am no longer going to use that excuse, as far as I am concerned it is not valid. I do not want to be spending my time at work and then on the couch too freakin lazy to do anything. That is not me at all! No wonder I am frustrated, confused and unhappy. My true self is being active and living life and enjoying it and doing what I need to do to achieve my dreams. For the last three months nothing has happened and I have nothing to show for it except for a slightly bigger arse from sitting down all the freakin' time!

Ok, rant is over. So needless to say I had a very productive session with the Dr. I came home and The Boy and I did some serious talking. He agreed that we are in this rut together and as such we are going to get out together. We began to write down how we wanted our lives to look and the steps to make it happen.

The first area we are going to work on (because you cannot transform every aspect overnight) is health and fitness. We both need to loose weight, at least 20kg each, and it would be nice to walk up the 4 flights of stairs from the car to our door without feeling out of breath (oh the shame). So we have scoured the internet to find ourselves a do-it-yourself weights and cardio program and are researching on what to eat. I always thought I knew what to eat, but clearly it ain't working and I'm not doing another program which is always a waste of money because all they tell you to do is eat carbs all day long which I manage to do on my own anyway and the weight still increases!

The Boy has even agreed to put the man cave on hold. He has some home gym equipment in the garage (which you cannot access when the cars are in) and he wants to use the man cave space to turn into our own little gym. He is serious. So this weekend we are moving it all up the 4 flights of stairs (so much fun - what to join us?) and creating our own little gym as well as planning every single meal for the week (and I think buying some protein powder - as in the muscle building stuff not the meal replacement stuff, must be a guy thing).

So this is part one of our plan. I suppose the purpose of this post was to get it all out of my head and onto the screen and to re-affirm what we are doing and to have a constant reminder as well. I'm feeling good, very happy and only having positive thoughts. This has been a long time coming and I am feeling so energized knowing that I am finally getting back on track. It is time to work towards those dreams again, and this time I am going to reach them.

Image: Flickr

Blog This: Challenge 20

Tell us TEN things you want to do in your lifetime that you've yet to achieve


One day while walking about

I stumbled, fell and put on a pout

A tiny gold lamp was there at my feet

I gave it a rub and oh what a treat

A genie emerged and he said to me

"I'll give you 10 wishes what will it be?"

A beautiful wedding to the man that I love

Followed by some children who we'll be so proud of

To have a full bank account each and every day

And choose to work for pleasure regardless of the pay

As time passes say farewell to the kids as we hit the dirt track

Travel round this beautiful country, admiring the outback

Then there is the 2 kilo pile I call my book

I'd love to see it in a bookshop when I pop in for a look

And one day I'd like to act like a child

Jumping of a cliff and hand glide into the wild

A stunning body, eye popping, fit and slim

As long as I don't have to spend hours in the gym

And who can forget the dream house on the hill

Out in the country where everything is peaceful and still

Of course before all that, what I want the most

Is a secluded weekend with The Boy spent up the coast.

Image: Flickr

Melbourne Cup

Is Sorted!!

Man Speak

Last night The Boy and I were sitting on the couch watching Beauty and the Geek. The ONLY reason we were watching it is because neither of us could be bothered to actually get up and put a DVD in. When will they invent something to do that for you? I suspect however we will tune in next week, I mean when one of the girls was teaching geography (to 9 and 10 year olds) and drew a map of Australia and left out Queensland leaving Australia with only "7 states" (her words, I know it is 6 states and 2 territories), well that makes good TV.

Anyway, during one of the commercial breaks the ad came on for a feminine hygiene product. You know the one with the girl in the tight black jeans and singlet trying to put on black boots and she asked her boyfriend to pass her a pad (which is not even in it's wrapper, I find the whole thing so unbelievable as I would never do that!). Anyway, this is how the conversation went starting with The Boy;

"I'm so sick of those tampon ads, they are so stupid."

"Um, that wasn't a tampon."

"Yes it was, they are all tampons."

"No, there are two different things."

"Oh yeah, tampons and covers."

"Covers? What is a cover?"

"I don't know, I just know one of them has wings."

"Do you know what wings are?"

"No."

"Do you want me to show you one?"

"No way, I'll be right."

Image: Flickr

My Inner Country Girl - Part One

This year I have spent a lot of time thinking about what made me happy when I was a child/teenager. Back then I only ever did things that I wanted to do, if I didn't want to do it (like ballet) then I didn't, it was onto the next thing to try. As a result of this I have re-discovered past loves (such as tapestry) which I am now reviving and falling in love with all over again. I suppose the purpose of doing this is to perhaps uncover some more direction for my life. Find the things that make me happy, because life really is too short to waste time doing what you don't like.

After school I went to uni and completed a science degree in Biology, but I am not working in that field and I never have. About half way through the degree I knew being a scientist was not right for me, but I decided to finish anyway. When I didn't enter the scientific world everyone was surprised, but I knew I was put on this earth for something else. This year I decided I wanted to work out what to do for the career section of my life, because realistically the whole career thing doesn't actually exist for me, I just work to earn an income. I need something that will work around children in the future, and something that will ignite my passion. A job where I can wake up and look forward to being at work (something I have never experienced) something with a little meaning. So, what was my favourite subject at school? Perhaps that can give me some insight.

As the end of Year 7 was approaching, everyone in our grade was given the task of choosing two electives to study for the next 3 years. I picked Textiles & Design, it was a no brainer. Back in Year 7 I wanted to be a fashion designer, I even got "busted" in religious class for designing dresses in my notebook when I should have been learning something biblical. However, I had no idea what to pick for my second. Languages were out, I hated them and failed terribly in primary school. Commerce was also ruled out, too many numbers, Food Tech - well at that stage I could only boil water, so no again. My options were running out. I discussed it with my parents. My Dad suggested Agriculture.
"What's that?"
"It's farming, you learn all about farms and working in the country. I think you would be really good at it, you like animals and you're smart, I think it would really suit you."
I wasn't convinced, I think mainly because I didn't want to get dirty, and I assumed doing "farm stuff" I would get dirty. However as time was running out and I had no better option I decided to do it. Besides, if I really didn't like it I could just blame Dad ;)

What can I say, I LOVED it! I could devote an entire year's worth of blogs to all the adventures I had in those three years. From that first class I was hooked, I wanted to learn all there was about agriculture, it felt so right, and my teacher was amazing, so inspiring and encouraging. Mrs Allen, the one teacher I actually respected, I always think of her so fondly and sometimes wonder what she is up to now. She was the best teacher I have ever had in my life. But I will save that for another post. But all the adventures; dissecting a chook, feeding the animals in the school holidays, ag camps and bush dancing, raising chicks from eggs! So much fun and so many memories that make me smile.

When it came time to pick our subjects for Years 11 & 12, Agriculture was first on the list. And for Year 12 I picked up the 3 Unit as well. I was so grateful to Dad for making that suggestion to me when I was only in Year 7, and as Year 12 was about to begin I had a plan for my number #1 subject.

To be continued....

Image: Flickr

I Am Excited!

I have just received my first blog award! A huge thank you to Mrs P at A Study in Contradictions for the honour, and if you have not yet discovered her amazing blog then head over there today and enjoy!

The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are:
Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered.
Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been choosen for this award.

I hope Mrs P doesn't mind but I am "stealing" a few from her list. Here they are, some newly discovered and some old favourites.

• A Little Time For Me
• Creative Hands
• Danimezza
• How To Look Good Married
• jp knit 'n' natter
• Maree Rose
• The Red Deer
• Pink Freckled Piggy
• (The Journey to) My Best Body Ever!
• August Street
• fat mum slim
• Love, bubs and life on our little farm
• My Grumble
• Hello Owl
• everyone wants this

There Is Only One Cure

PMS has arrived and it has brought with it; nasty cramps, snapping at The Boy, bloating and the inability to smile. Healthy Lifestyle is on hold until Monday. There is only one cure for this. Sweet, dark, chocolate. Oh yeah.... And maybe a kg of olives.... and original flavoured chips.... and sparkling grape juice and of course triple chocolate chip cookies.

I Kinda Did Something Today....

I know I have been a little vague and distant from my blog in the last week or two. I have had something on my mind. Something I have been thinking about for many months but recently I have been forced to think more deeply about it. Today I finally did something. I QUIT!!!!

Some of you will know I don't like my job and have had some issues with it. I work for a small business and the three people in charge are family. There is The Mother, The Daughter and The Son. About two months ago I had a chat with The Son about my concerns and issues. He never got back to me but said he would take it on board blah blah blah. Since that time The Mother and The Daughter have treated me very well and I appreciate the effort they have made (as I felt I was not being treated fairly at all). The Son however just decided that he would be a even bigger A-hole. I have been sucking it up for a long time. Many people have told me to quit and have been telling me this for at least 6 months, but I was determined to stick it out.

There was an incident just over a week ago now. The Son decided to check my computer. I already knew he was doing this, and made sure there was nothing for him to find. I have no idea what he was looking for, but on Friday he decided to help himself and look while I stood a metre away from him. I thought this was a little rude, I mean, at least wait until I go home or something (like he normally does). But no, he did it in front of me. When I went to lunch later I came back to discover that he had in fact removed the internet from my computer (at least he thought he had... hehe). Earlier that week he changed my internet settings to keep my private data which I always clear. I will point out that I have never signed any documents with this company waiving my privacy rights, so he has no right to do what he has been doing. To me that was the final straw.

Last week I decided to put some "feelers" out, apply for a few jobs and see if anyone called. I had three phone calls. I was confident enough in my ability to quit. So this morning I sent off the email to The Daughter advising her of my decision. As soon as I sent it I reached into my draw to pull out my coffee cup when I realised that someone (The Son) had been through my drawer. Everything that was on the bottom was on the top and was a complete mess. I don't know what he was looking for unless he wanted to borrow my plunger. Somehow I doubt it. It reaffirmed to me that I made the right decision. I don't know if he is an idiot or wants me to know that he has been snooping, because if you are going to go through someone's draw, at least leave everything how you found it!

I know it is not me. Since day one I have not been trusted. All of us outside the family are not trusted. But I just got on with it. I always did what was asked and I did it well in very reasonable timeframes. Sure I would get a coffee and check my blog/email for about 5 minutes while I just gave myself a "mini" break, but who doesn't? I am tempted to ask what he was looking for though, maybe it was to see if I was looking for another job? Well he successfully shot himself in the foot because as a result of his actions I am now.

Yes, just to clarify, I currently do not have another job. Yes that is a risk, but it is one that I have thought about and discussed with The Boy and my parents and have decided it is the best move. I am a bit of a risk taker and I hope this pays off. But I am still here for another 4 weeks and that gives me plenty of time. I also don't want to be using up all my annual leave attending interviews. I would rather be free and go to an interview as soon as they can see me rather than trying to fit it into my current work situation. Of course my inner control freak is freaking out but sometimes you have to listen to your gut and go with it. And mine was telling me to take this risk. I have some back up plans if I do finish this job here and find myself unemployed. Hopefully it won't come to that. For now the search begins for another job and maybe tonight I will open the sparking grape juice to celebrate finally being free and taking control of my life and living it how I want to.

Image: Flickr

A New Experience In Coupledom

Throughout my entire life, whenever I have been sick, I have had someone to look after me. For nearly all of my life, it was mum. She would tuck me into bed, bring me my meals and help me sit up to eat, basically she would run around doing whatever she could to make me comfortable. Most recently it has been The Boy, who would look after me, keep the place clean and allow me to recover. Whenever I have been sick, it has always been about me, which is probably a good thing considering I am such a bad patient.

However, this week, I have been sick with the flu, and so has The Boy. For the first time we are sick together which is providing to be a new experience. We have progressively become worse this week, with both of us taking today off from work in an attempt to recover. We have been hit hard and as I sit here now I am very sleep deprived and feel like I am in a dream, my throat is burning and my chest feels like a fireplace.

It is hard because we are both focused on trying to get better and with the little amount of energy we have left, trying to help each other. As we both feel like crap neither of us have the strength to do any cleaning or cook dinner. We have been living off the simplest meals, avoiding the expanding mess in the kitchen and living in the bedroom which is starting to look like it has recently been trashed. I'm not happy because I am not getting pampered like a Queen I am having to suck it up and deal with it myself and I don't like it.

As for The Boy, what can I say, he has a "man cold" and is acting like a great big baby, I love him, but really, he isn't going to die. I remember my mum telling me when I was a child, that when a man is sick, he expects you to drop everything and look after him as if he were on his deathbed, and that he will carry on and be all dramatic thinking the world revoles around them and they are as sick as humanly possible and in need of 24/7 attention. I never understood what she meant, until now. And of course after her rant she looked at me and said "Don't give them any sympathy, let them deal with it themselves. They need to learn." Well I failed at that, I have been a very good Future Wife coddling The Boy and attending to all his needs. Maybe next time I'll be stronger, perhaps if I had a decent night sleep and energy to actually get out of bed I would. I'll try and remember for next time.

Image: Flickr