The (Belated) 2009 Summary

I made a comment to someone last week that last year was such a lazy year for me. That comment bugged me all day and when I later thought about it I realised how untrue it was. Sure I might not have accomplished everything I set out to, but does that mean I failed? Far from it. I achieved a lot last year, so I thought I would briefly summarise my achievements to inspire me and also so I can look back when I am struggling this year and remember that anything is possible.

Firstly I successfully came off the anti-anxiety medication. That was a goal I always thought would be in the future, but suddenly it happened. Not only did I come off the meds but I no longer suffer from anxiety. It does creep up now and then but I am free from it in my everyday life after battling it for many years.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do for the career aspect of my life. I was spending years floating around doing admin jobs and I was hungry for more. I wanted passion and fire and something I could look forward too. I finally went back to my childhood love of Agriculture and applied for uni and got in. Only 5 more weeks till I start now!

My manuscript, I realised this year that it is going to take a lot longer than I first thought it would. When I first wrote it, it was never a manuscript, it was all journal entries during a very dark time of my life and it wasn't until that period was ending I thought I would turn it into something more. So it means a lot more editing and so many more gaps to fill than if I just started out with the "let's write a book" goal (which sometimes I think I should just start again with it). However I did managed to edit over 100 pages of work and on top of that produce an additional 100 pages of writing which I think is a huge effort and it is something I am very proud of.

My relationship with The Boy has totally flourished. We only moved in together at the end of 2008 not having been together all that long and neither of us having lived with a partner before. The first few months were really tough and a huge shock and adjustment to both of us, but we have managed to get over all the drama and reach a really great place to be in. I don't really know how to put it into words, except that we are both happy and live together in harmony most of the time (still trying to work on a few more annoying habits).

I have also strengthened my relationship with my family. My mum commented the other day that since I moved in with The Boy I have grown up immensely and I have noticed that too and I just have a lovely relationship with my mum and dad now and even my brother. He has even started to hug me when he sees me now. This is huge considering when we were living together all we did was fight. I cannot remember the last time I fought with any of them.

I don't have a massive circle of friends, but the ones I do have are amazing and I'm very close to them, but I wanted to expand my circle a little bit more and I was fortunate over the 12 months to develop two new friendships from places I least expected it. It wasn't until I thought about this recently that I realised I am now good friends with both of them. It is weird because I think as an adult you kinda get stuck and it is so much harder to make friends. I know I will be friends with both these girls for so many years to come and it gives me confidence for when we move that I won't be isolated for long.

Money. Due to my younger, reckless years (how old does that sound!) I managed to rack up some personal debt, but this year I was able to halve it which was more than I thought I could do. I am very pleased about that but also realised I can always aim higher and push myself further.

And finally I acquired new skills such as cooking and rediscovered old ones such as my tapestry. I am loving learning new skills and finding joy in the old ones and this is something I will continue with this year also.

So there we go. Reflecting on this list I actually feel pretty good about myself and confident in what I can achieve this year. I am also reminded that I need to not only think positive thoughts but speak them as well. So the next time someone asks me how the last 12 months have been I am able to respond with pride that it was an amazing time with some wonderful dreams achieved.

Am I Old Or Just A Prude?

I had another very busy weekend, running around from one place to another. This happened the weekend before and today I feel like I am entering week three without having had a break. This weekend will be different, The Boy and I are celebrating our anniversary, so all phones (and internet) will be off on Friday at 5:30pm only to be switched back on, on Monday morning. I have no idea what we are doing, I have left that up to him (much to the distress of my inner control freak) but I have a few surprises for him in terms of gifts and spent a LOT of time on the weekend running around different shopping centres trying to get it all done. I call it Operation Secret Project. Mum is in on the whole thing and helped me a lot and I'll be at her place tomorrow night hopefully finishing it off.

But I digress. This weekend has me thinking that I am either old or a prude. I remember spending every weekend running around achieving so much and thriving on it, not to mention being a complete social butterfly, always catching up for drinks and swanning about the city like I was Carrie Bradshaw. Now as soon as I walk in the door of The Penthouse I collapse on the sofa stressing about the fact that I have to get up again in an hour and all I want to do is stay home and relax. I had a Hen's Party on Saturday night. I had been running around all day Saturday and finally came home at around 3:30pm. I had 90 minutes to relax. I got the faux mink blanket, curled up on the sofa and dozed off while watching Seinfeld with The Boy gently stroking my head until he nudged me at 5:10 asking if I needed to get ready.

2 hours later and I was in the city ordering a lemon lime & bitters and dressed to party. I was wearing my new jeans with one of my new tops - black with pink, purple and silver sequins around the very low neckline complete with my 10cm black strappy heels. I was there with my friend (not the hen) and she was dressed similar to me, and we were the most conservatively dressed out of the throng of women there. It was at a hotel that specialises in hen's parties, because there were four different parties all in the same room. I have never seen so much flesh in my life. If half those girls bent down I would have seen everything.

Shortly afterwards dinner was served and everyone was drinking, starting to get tipsy and the talk was becoming lose and more and more vulgar. I continued to sip my non alcoholic drink with a shocked look on my face. The woman to my left was 42 and carrying on like she was 18. It made me feel very old and also very prudish. My friend that I went with was as shocked as I was, so if I was being a prude, at least I wasn't doing it alone.

As the night went on, drunken behaviour became worse, complete with attempted pinching of not so hot waiter's bum (not me, 42 yr old) and then dancing. I did have a good night, but to be honest the best part of the night was coming home and crawling into bed and snuggling right up next to The Boy. At that moment I felt blissfully happy and content and as I started to fall asleep I wondered if I am old or simply a prude? Regardless I am very happy to have said goodbye to my drinking and dancing days, because the life I have now is so much sweeter, I wouldn't trade it in for anything in the whole world.

Afternoon Tea

I am now in the habit of baking on Sunday's. Usually I do muffins or a cake, all made from scratch, so The Boy and I have something to take to work along with our fruit. On Sunday afternoon I was having my lovely friend Miss K over for a catch up. It was my first time entertaining in The Penthouse that didn't involve family, so I decided to make something a little different.
A few weeks ago I found the AWW cookbook The Country Table and as soon as I opened it up I knew I had to have it. So I flipped through it on Saturday and decided on honey jumbles. Interestingly this recipe didn't involve any honey at all but instead used golden syrup. The team behind the cookbook suggested the prep and cook time was around 25 minutes. How about two hours instead! I don't often make biscuits I'll admit, usually if I do I buy a log and use a knife to make biscuits. The only exception to this is making my gingerbread cookies, but these "honey" jumbles were much more involved than the humble gingerbread (although the end result was slightly similar in taste).

As usual I successfully managed to make a mess in the kitchen, even though I was washing up as I went I couldn't help getting flour all over the bench and floor. An hour before my friend was due it was time to make the icing (I had actually planned to make biscuits and cake but ran out of time). The AWW listed how to make the icing. It was 1 1/2 cups of icing sugar, 2 tablespoons of lemon juice and 1 tablespoon of flour. We only had 1/2 cup of icing sugar in the cupboard so The Boy was forced to go out and buy some more. When he returned I only had about 20 minutes, so without thinking I made up the icing sugar as per the recipe. I iced four of them and tasted the icing and spat it out. The flour gave it an almost soapy taste and was awful! I had no idea why they suggested flour because it was just wrong. With fifteen minutes to go we had to start again. I just went for icing sugar, water and vanilla essence, and of course, pink food colouring and this time it turned out brilliantly.
The icing was a little runny, but it did give the jumbles a home made feel (that and my lack of ability to make them look the same) they were a huge success and tasted amazing. I will definitely be making them again and the recipe was fantastic. Better than the ones in the shop, much more flavour and still very soft in the middle.

We did have some left over to take to work the next day. Of course The Boy was told at work that next time I need to use blue icing if he is to ever bring in home made food again.