Revelation and Re-Evaluation

This picture has nothing to do with this post, I just like Cows, yes I am one of "those" people

Way too early yesterday morning I was thinking, as I do, and I suddenly had this big revelation. I was thinking about how I was feeling blah and not getting anywhere and how I am trying to pull myself out of the rut. The Boy and I decided that the first thing to work on was our health and fitness and to loose some weight blah blah blah, usual story. So for almost a month now we have been doing that, and it has been an awful process as we feel we have been banging out heads against the wall as we make progress so slowly, meanwhile everything else just seems to get worse and to be honest it doesn't really feel like we are climbing out of our rut at all.

During this time I have been thinking about the other areas that need work on and how I would address them once we had this health and fitness thing sorted. That's great, however it appears that my heart/gut/instinct, whatever you call it, was pulling me elsewhere. The amazing thing is that The Boy was going through the same thing, he was being pulled elsewhere and we were both being pulled to the same thing, primarily our finances, which I guess shows how in sync we are (which was also proved last night when I was sleeping alone cos he was away and I kept waking up looking for him, is that sweet or tragic?).

So my big revelation was to focus on what I am being pulled to, let the weight issue go for now and focus on what else needs to be done. In an instant I just felt this huge wave of relief. I felt comfortable and calm and I felt that I was now on the right path. The decision was made and it just felt right. I decided that I was going to go with my gut and focus on two other areas of my life. Well, what can I say, yesterday my mind wouldn't stop, I came up with about a hundred solutions, I was busy writing everything down, it was just idea after idea after idea. Last night I spoke to The Boy on the phone about all these great ideas and he agreed on most of them and I honesty feel that now we can cross one issue off the list. That area of our life just seems to be fixed overnight. Sure we have to actively make sure we stick to the plan, but it won't take much, in fact it is now easier than what we were doing, which was really just going around in circles.

I feel so much happier now, and I feel like I am finally making progress and sorting stuff out. Going to give it at least 6 weeks to carry out what we need to do, while also sorting out everything organisational. All the boxes will be unpacked and all paperwork will be re-sorted and everything done, all in one place, and all easy to find. This includes cleaning out the garage and continuing to get rid of a huge amount of crap.

Of course, having said all of this, I am not about to park myself out the front of McDonald's everyday, nor am I going to shop only from the Confectionery aisle. I will still continue to cook healthy meals and eat well and exercise. I am just not going to be so anal about it. If I find myself tired one night and really not bothered and discovering I am in the car about to order via drive through, that is ok, I am not going to stress or beat myself up over it. And of course Friday night take away, movies and chocolate will continue, oh yeah looking forward to that! If I can maintain till the end of the year I will be very very happy.

Reaching your goal weight, especially when you have about 25-30kg to loose is a full time deal. It requires a lot of planning, energy and discipline, and time. 12 weeks wouldn't cut it for me, I would need a least 52 weeks, and right now I cannot give it the attention it deserves and that is ok. When the time is right I will give it 100% and it will come off. That could be a month away it could be a year away. I don't know, but I trust it will happen when it should.

I have learnt to listen to myself, that in the end, I really do know what is best for me. I am confident also that if I make the wrong decision that my heart/gut/instinct, will lead me back to where I need to go and onto the right path, and confident also that everything else will happen when it should. There is a lot of peace from this lesson, I feel content and calm, something I have not felt for a while now. Just take a moment and listen, what is it that you really want right now?

Image: Flickr