Honesty

I really need to get my act together and post my 2010 goals up here because I am already referring to them. Monday night at the latest!

One such goals is to weigh lighter and maintain that. This is actually a joint goal with The Boy and I. We both have around 30kg to loose, half of which was gained the second we moved in together and we traded dinner dates to eating takeaway on the couch and watching movies all weekend (I am still trying to get some of those stains out). Anyway, as most people at this time of the year do, we started to change our "lifestyle". Considering we have both attempted this and failed many times before we have a plan of attack now and have enlisted some help from outside (more on that another day). But at the moment we are just eating a lot of salad and veggies and walking again.

The other day during our second walk of the year we were slowly walking up The Hill. We live in a very hilly area and had just been cruising along nicely on flats and downhill and at the end of the walk we have about a 1km journey all uphill with a very nasty incline. For motivation he decided to talk about how we are going to be weighing less at the end of the year, being our ideal size and how wonderful that will feel blah blah blah and then he said;

"You are going to look so much sexier when you have lost all that weight."

What? For the past 12 months The Boy and I have played the game of "Do you find me attractive?" "Of course I do." "Even though I am carrying around extra weight?" "Yes baby, you are very sexy." All year we have clearly been lying to each other!

I mean, you want honesty in your relationship. You really do, but you can be honest without telling the truth. I mean I do find him sexy as he is now, of course, but would I find him even more sexier when he is looking all buff? Of course I would! Would I tell him that? NO! I'm not lying, I am telling him he is sexy but I am simply not adding that perhaps a slight shift in weight could add to the sexiness factor. And I assumed he was the same. I know he finds me attractive but I know what I see in the mirror and I know what he is thinking. But why tell me.

I actually stopped walking and looked at him.

"What!?"

"You will look sexier when you loose weight."

"Am I not sexy now?"

"Of course you are, I am just saying you will look sexier. I want to see you in tight jeans with a little tight top that shows just your belly button, just a little bit of skin and when you lift up your arms you see a lot more skin. Oh yeah."

And then, HE LICKED HIS LIPS!

He is standing there fantasizing about a -30kg version of me and clearly enjoying it! I don't know if that is a compliment or an insult.

"So what am I now?" I asked for validation.

"You are sexy, very sexy, I'm just saying that you will be sexier, but you are already sexy, and won't you feel better about yourself? And won't you find me sexier too when I loose all this weight?"

Cleverly throwing it back to me, I respond with "Yes" and we continue walking. No more lies, the truth and the reality is all out in the open now. I think at the end of the day it is a compliment. I mean I would rather that then him writing me off altogether and just buying men's mags. I also think it means we are very comfortable in our relationship if we are being that honest with each other. Which is a great thing I am sure, but perhaps we are a little too comfortable? Or perhaps I was a little too comfortable living in denial. Hmmmm.....

Image: Flickr